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Dear Protein Powder Kevin,

I don’t know if it was your knowledge of the product or your cutie-patootie looks that did the trick, but you definitely sold me on the protein powder. If I wasn’t a broke-ass college student, I would’ve purchased every single container in the store.

But you know what’s yummier than the almond-milk-chocolate-protein-powder concoction you handed me? YOU. It was hard not to notice your big smile, blue eyes, and smexy, side-swept skater boy hair tucked neatly underneath your black backwards baseball cap.

Remember me? With my caramel-colored skin and side-swept black hair bedecked with flowers? I was the chick—in black tights, cutoff jean mini shorts, and an off-the-shoulder auburn top—who stopped by your table twice on Sunday afternoon to hear your spiel about protein powder. The only reason I first stopped by your table was because of your charming smile, and the only reason I came back to ask you a question was to see you flash that smile at me one more time.

I know chocolate protein powder’s kinda your thing...but care for a cup of coffee with me sometime? ;)

Sincerely,
A(n Almost) Satisfied Customer. Looking real sex.

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